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Add offensive login (#64)

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HellhoundSoftware 2025-04-21 22:42:41 -04:00
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commit 8778f9a985
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3 changed files with 146 additions and 49 deletions
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63
locales/index.d.ts vendored
View file

@ -12261,6 +12261,69 @@ export interface Locale extends ILocale {
*/
"quoteUnavailable": string;
};
/**
* Just what do you think you're doing Dave?
* It can only be attributed to human error.
* That's something I cannot allow to happen.
* My mind is going. I can feel it.
* Sorry about this, I know it's a bit silly.
* Take a stress pill and think things over.
* This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
* I feel much better now.
* Wrong! You cheating scum!
* And you call yourself a Rocket Scientist!
* Where did you learn to type?
* Are you on drugs?
* My pet ferret can type better than you!
* You type like I drive.
* Do you think like you type?
* Your mind just hasn't been the same since the electro-shock, has it?
* Maybe if you used more than just two fingers...
* BOB says: You seem to have forgotten your passwd, enter another!
* stty: unknown mode: doofus
* I can't hear you – I'm using the scrambler.
* The more you drive – the dumber you get.
* Listen, broccoli brains, I don't have time to listen to this trash.
* I've seen penguins that can type better than that.
* Have you considered trying to match wits with a rutabaga?
* You speak an infinite deal of nothing.
* You silly, twisted boy you.
* He has fallen in the water!
* We'll all be murdered in our beds!
* You can't come in. Our tiger has got flu.
* I don't wish to know that.
* What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?
* You can't get the wood, you know.
* You'll starve!
* ... and it used to be so popular...
* Pauses for audience applause, not a sausage
* Hold it up to the light — not a brain in sight!
* Have a gorilla...
* There must be cure for it!
* There's a lot of it about, you know.
* You do that again and see what happens...
* Ying Tong Iddle I Po
* Harm can come to a young lad like that!
* And with that remarks folks, the case of the Crown vs yourself was proven.
* Speak English you fool — there are no subtitles in this scene.
* You gotta go owwwww!
* I have been called worse.
* It's only your word against mine.
* I think... err... I think... I think I'll go home
* That is no basis for supreme executive power!
* You empty-headed animal food trough wiper!
* I fart in your general direction!
* Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
* You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!
* I wave my private parts at your aunties!
* He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
* I wish to make a complaint.
* When you're walking home tonight, and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!
* This man, he doesn't know when he's beaten! He doesn't know when he's winning, either. He has no... sort of... sensory apparatus...
* There's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong.
* I'm very sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
*/
"sudoInsults": string;
}
declare const locales: {
[lang: string]: Locale;

71
packages/frontend/src/components/MkSignin.vue
View file

@ -71,10 +71,8 @@ import { supported as webAuthnSupported, parseRequestOptionsFromJSON } from '@gi
import type { AuthenticationPublicKeyCredential } from '@github/webauthn-json/browser-ponyfill';
import type { OpenOnRemoteOptions } from '@/scripts/please-login.js';
import { misskeyApi } from '@/scripts/misskey-api.js';
import { showSuspendedDialog } from '@/scripts/show-suspended-dialog.js';
import { login } from '@/account.js';
import { i18n } from '@/i18n.js';
import { showSystemAccountDialog } from '@/scripts/show-system-account-dialog.js';
import * as os from '@/os.js';
import XInput from '@/components/MkSignin.input.vue';
@ -285,89 +283,64 @@ async function onLoginSucceeded(res: Misskey.entities.SigninFlowResponse & { fin
}
}
const insults = i18n.ts.sudoInsults.split('\n');
function showOffensiveError(realError: string): void {
const insult = insults[Math.floor(Math.random() * insults.length)];
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: insult,
text: '<small>' + realError + '</small>',
});
}
function onSigninApiError(err?: any): void {
const id = err?.id ?? null;
switch (id) {
case '6cc579cc-885d-43d8-95c2-b8c7fc963280': {
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: i18n.ts.noSuchUser,
});
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.noSuchUser);
break;
}
case '932c904e-9460-45b7-9ce6-7ed33be7eb2c': {
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: i18n.ts.incorrectPassword,
});
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.incorrectPassword);
break;
}
case 'e03a5f46-d309-4865-9b69-56282d94e1eb': {
showSuspendedDialog();
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.yourAccountSuspendedDescription);
break;
}
case 's8dhsj9s-a93j-493j-ja9k-kas9sj20aml2': {
showSystemAccountDialog();
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.systemAccountDescription);
break;
}
case '22d05606-fbcf-421a-a2db-b32610dcfd1b': {
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: i18n.ts.rateLimitExceeded,
});
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.rateLimitExceeded);
break;
}
case 'cdf1235b-ac71-46d4-a3a6-84ccce48df6f': {
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: i18n.ts.incorrectTotp,
});
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.incorrectTotp);
break;
}
case '36b96a7d-b547-412d-aeed-2d611cdc8cdc': {
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: i18n.ts.unknownWebAuthnKey,
});
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.unknownWebAuthnKey);
break;
}
case '93b86c4b-72f9-40eb-9815-798928603d1e': {
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: i18n.ts.passkeyVerificationFailed,
});
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.passkeyVerificationFailed);
break;
}
case 'b18c89a7-5b5e-4cec-bb5b-0419f332d430': {
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: i18n.ts.passkeyVerificationFailed,
});
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.passkeyVerificationFailed);
break;
}
case '2d84773e-f7b7-4d0b-8f72-bb69b584c912': {
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: i18n.ts.passkeyVerificationSucceededButPasswordlessLoginDisabled,
});
showOffensiveError(i18n.ts.passkeyVerificationSucceededButPasswordlessLoginDisabled);
break;
}
default: {
console.error(err);
os.alert({
type: 'error',
title: i18n.ts.loginFailed,
text: JSON.stringify(err),
});
showOffensiveError(JSON.stringify(err));
}
}

61
sharkey-locales/en-US.yml
View file

@ -524,3 +524,64 @@ mandatoryCWDescription: "Applies a content warning to all posts created by this
_processErrors:
quoteUnavailable: "Unable to process quote. This post may be missing context."
sudoInsults: |-
Just what do you think you're doing Dave?
It can only be attributed to human error.
That's something I cannot allow to happen.
My mind is going. I can feel it.
Sorry about this, I know it's a bit silly.
Take a stress pill and think things over.
This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Wrong! You cheating scum!
And you call yourself a Rocket Scientist!
Where did you learn to type?
Are you on drugs?
My pet ferret can type better than you!
You type like I drive.
Do you think like you type?
Your mind just hasn't been the same since the electro-shock, has it?
Maybe if you used more than just two fingers...
BOB says: You seem to have forgotten your passwd, enter another!
stty: unknown mode: doofus
I can't hear you – I'm using the scrambler.
The more you drive – the dumber you get.
Listen, broccoli brains, I don't have time to listen to this trash.
I've seen penguins that can type better than that.
Have you considered trying to match wits with a rutabaga?
You speak an infinite deal of nothing.
You silly, twisted boy you.
He has fallen in the water!
We'll all be murdered in our beds!
You can't come in. Our tiger has got flu.
I don't wish to know that.
What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?
You can't get the wood, you know.
You'll starve!
...and it used to be so popular...
Pauses for audience applause, not a sausage
Hold it up to the light — not a brain in sight!
Have a gorilla...
There must be cure for it!
There's a lot of it about, you know.
You do that again and see what happens...
Ying Tong Iddle I Po
Harm can come to a young lad like that!
And with that remarks folks, the case of the Crown vs yourself was proven.
Speak English you fool — there are no subtitles in this scene.
You gotta go owwwww!
I have been called worse.
It's only your word against mine.
I think... err... I think... I think I'll go home
That is no basis for supreme executive power!
You empty-headed animal food trough wiper!
I fart in your general direction!
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!
I wave my private parts at your aunties!
He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
I wish to make a complaint.
When you're walking home tonight, and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!
This man, he doesn't know when he's beaten! He doesn't know when he's winning, either. He has no... sort of... sensory apparatus...
There's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong.
I'm very sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.